Why God Cares About Your Sex Life in Marriage (And How to Nurture It)
Christian counselling for love, trust, and intimacy that lasts.
James and Rachel had been married for twelve years. They worked hard, juggled raising teenagers, and were deeply involved in their local church. To most people, they looked like the perfect couple. But privately, they rarely touched each other outside of a polite hug or kiss goodnight.
It wasn’t that they’d stopped loving each other… it was that intimacy had quietly slipped down the list of priorities. They both started assuming the other simply wasn’t interested anymore.
One evening, during a counselling session*, Rachel blurted out: “We pray together, we share everything, so why can’t we talk about sex without feeling embarrassed?” James nodded in relief, because he’d been feeling the same way for years but didn’t know how to bring it up.
That conversation was a turning point. For the first time, they realised their struggles weren’t unusual or shameful—just unspoken. And by naming what was missing, they opened the door for God’s healing and practical steps forward.
Why Sex Matters to God
Many Christians wrestle with the idea that God is deeply invested in their sexual intimacy. We often think of sex as either a physical release or a taboo subject, but Scripture teaches otherwise.
In Genesis 2:24-25, we read: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
Sexual intimacy is not only a physical act—it is deeply spiritual, emotional, and relational. God designed sex to bond husband and wife in vulnerability, trust, and joy. That’s why when sex becomes a place of silence or shame, as it affects the whole marriage.
More Than Performance
From a therapeutic and psychosexual lens, intimacy is about much more than performance. It’s about connection, communication, and safety. When couples avoid talking about their sex life, unmet needs and frustrations can quietly build. This can create patterns of resentment, isolation, or even temptations outside the marriage.
Research shows that healthy sexual intimacy is linked to:
Greater marital satisfaction
Reduced stress and improved emotional well-being
Stronger communication skills
Increased trust and security
But barriers such as sexual shame, past trauma, mismatched desires, or physical changes (e.g., postpartum, menopause, or stress-related issues) can make intimacy challenging. Therapy helps couples navigate these realities with grace and practical strategies.
God’s Heart for Your Marriage
God doesn’t want sex in marriage to be just “functional.” He created it as a source of delight, unity, and mutual giving. Proverbs 5:18-19 even describes intimacy in joyful, celebratory terms. This shows us that God isn’t embarrassed by our sexuality.
By ignoring or neglecting sexual intimacy, couples risk losing an essential part of the marital bond. By investing in it, they build resilience, joy, and deeper companionship.
New Perspectives for Your Marriage
At Harmony House Counselling, we believe your marriage and your sex life deserves healing. If you and your spouse feel stuck or simply longing for more connection, we’d love to walk alongside you.
Through Christian couples therapy and psychosexual counselling, you’ll gain tools to:
Break patterns of silence or avoidance
Heal past wounds and overcome shame
Explore intimacy with compassion and faith
Reignite joy, pleasure, and closeness in your marriage
Book a session with us today and take the next step toward building a marriage that reflects God’s design for intimacy.
Your Thoughts
Sex in marriage isn’t just about physical connection. It’s about emotional closeness, spiritual unity, and relational health. God cares because your marriage matters to Him. By investing in this area of your relationship, you and your spouse can rediscover joy, healing, and wholeness.
3 Reflection Questions for Couples:
How have we experienced God’s design for intimacy in our marriage?
What unspoken fears, frustrations, or expectations might be shaping our sex life?
What one small step can we take this week to grow closer emotionally and sexually?
*Please note, all stories shared are fictional, and based on common client issues addressed within therapy.